Jack And His Master

: Celtic Folk And Fairy Tales

A poor woman had three sons. The eldest and second eldest were

cunning, clever fellows, but they called the youngest Jack the Fool,

because they thought he was no better than a simpleton. The eldest got

tired of staying at home, and said he'd go look for service. He stayed

away a whole year, and then came back one day, dragging one foot after

the other, and a poor wizened face on him, and he as cross as two

sticks. Whe
he was rested and got something to eat, he told them how

he got service with the Grey Churl of the Townland of Mischance, and

that the agreement was, whoever would first say he was sorry for his

bargain, should get an inch wide of the skin of his back, from

shoulder to hips, taken off. If it was the master, he should also pay

double wages; if it was the servant, he should get no wages at all.

"But the thief," says he, "gave me so little to eat, and kept me so

hard at work, that flesh and blood couldn't stand it; and when he

asked me once, when I was in a passion, if I was sorry for my bargain,

I was mad enough to say I was, and here I am disabled for life."



Vexed enough were the poor mother and brothers; and the second eldest

said on the spot he'd go and take service with the Grey Churl, and

punish him by all the annoyance he'd give him till he'd make him say

he was sorry for his agreement. "Oh, won't I be glad to see the skin

coming off the old villain's back!" said he. All they could say had no

effect: he started off for the Townland of Mischance, and in a

twelvemonth he was back just as miserable and helpless as his brother.



All the poor mother could say didn't prevent Jack the Fool from

starting to see if he was able to regulate the Grey Churl. He agreed

with him for a year for twenty pounds, and the terms were the same.



"Now, Jack," said the Grey Churl, "if you refuse to do anything you

are able to do, you must lose a month's wages."



"I'm satisfied," said Jack; "and if you stop me from doing a thing

after telling me to do it, you are to give me an additional month's

wages."



"I am satisfied," said the master.



"Or if you blame me for obeying your orders, you must give the same."



"I am satisfied," said the master again.



The first day that Jack served he was fed very poorly, and was worked

to the saddleskirts. Next day he came in just before the dinner was

served up to the parlour. They were taking the goose off the spit, but

well becomes Jack he whips a knife off the dresser, and cuts off one

side of the breast, one leg and thigh, and one wing, and fell to. In

came the master, and began to abuse him for his assurance. "Oh, you

know, master, you're to feed me, and wherever the goose goes won't

have to be filled again till supper. Are you sorry for our agreement?"



The master was going to cry out he was, but he bethought himself in

time. "Oh, no, not at all," said he.



"That's well," said Jack.



Next day Jack was to go clamp turf on the bog. They weren't sorry to

have him away from the kitchen at dinner time. He didn't find his

breakfast very heavy on his stomach; so he said to the mistress, "I

think, ma'am, it will be better for me to get my dinner now, and not

lose time coming home from the bog."



"That's true, Jack," said she. So she brought out a good cake, and a

print of butter, and a bottle of milk, thinking he'd take them away to

the bog. But Jack kept his seat, and never drew rein till bread,

butter, and milk went down the red lane.



"Now, mistress," said he, "I'll be earlier at my work to-morrow if I

sleep comfortably on the sheltry side of a pile of dry peat on dry

grass, and not be coming here and going back. So you may as well give

me my supper, and be done with the day's trouble." She gave him that,

thinking he'd take it to the bog; but he fell to on the spot, and did

not leave a scrap to tell tales on him; and the mistress was a little

astonished.



He called to speak to the master in the haggard and said he, "What

are servants asked to do in this country after aten their supper?"



"Nothing at all, but to go to bed."



"Oh, very well, sir." He went up on the stable-loft, stripped, and lay

down, and some one that saw him told the master. He came up.



"Jack, you anointed scoundrel, what do you mean?"



"To go to sleep, master. The mistress, God bless her, is after giving

me my breakfast, dinner, and supper, and yourself told me that bed was

the next thing. Do you blame me, sir?"



"Yes, you rascal, I do."



"Hand me out one pound thirteen and fourpence, if you please, sir."



"One divil and thirteen imps, you tinker! what for?"



"Oh, I see, you've forgot your bargain. Are you sorry for it?"



"Oh, ya--no, I mean. I'll give you the money after your nap."



Next morning early, Jack asked how he'd be employed that day. "You are

to be holding the plough in that fallow, outside the paddock." The

master went over about nine o'clock to see what kind of a ploughman

was Jack, and what did he see but the little boy driving the bastes,

and the sock and coulter of the plough skimming along the sod, and

Jack pulling ding-dong again' the horses.



"What are you doing, you contrary thief?" said the master.



"An' ain't I strivin' to hold this divil of a plough, as you told me;

but that ounkrawn of a boy keeps whipping on the bastes in spite of

all I say; will you speak to him?"



"No, but I'll speak to you. Didn't you know, you bosthoon, that when I

said 'holding the plough,' I meant reddening the ground."



"Faith, an' if you did, I wish you had said so. Do you blame me for

what I have done?"



The master caught himself in time, but he was so stomached, he said

nothing.



"Go on and redden the ground now, you knave, as other ploughmen do."



"An' are you sorry for our agreement?"



"Oh, not at all, not at all!"



Jack ploughed away like a good workman all the rest of the day.



In a day or two the master bade him go and mind the cows in a field

that had half of it under young corn. "Be sure, particularly," said

he, "to keep Browney from the wheat; while she's out of mischief

there's no fear of the rest."



About noon, he went to see how Jack was doing his duty, and what did

he find but Jack asleep with his face to the sod, Browney grazing near

a thorn-tree, one end of a long rope round her horns, and the other

end round the tree, and the rest of the beasts all trampling and

eating the green wheat. Down came the switch on Jack.



"Jack, you vagabone, do you see what the cows are at?"



"And do you blame me, master?"



"To be sure, you lazy sluggard, I do?"






"Hand me out one pound thirteen and fourpence, master. You said if I

only kept Browney out of mischief, the rest would do no harm. There

she is as harmless as a lamb. Are you sorry for hiring me, master?"



"To be--that is, not at all. I'll give you your money when you go to

dinner. Now, understand me; don't let a cow go out of the field nor

into the wheat the rest of the day."



"Never fear, master!" and neither did he. But the churl would rather

than a great deal he had not hired him.



The next day three heifers were missing, and the master bade Jack go

in search of them.



"Where will I look for them?" said Jack.



"Oh, every place likely and unlikely for them all to be in."






The churl was getting very exact in his words. When he was coming into

the bawn at dinnertime, what work did he find Jack at but pulling

armfuls of the thatch off the roof, and peeping into the holes he was

making?



"What are you doing there, you rascal?"



"Sure, I'm looking for the heifers, poor things?"



"What would bring them there?"



"I don't think anything could bring them in it; but I looked first

into the likely places, that is, the cow-houses, and the pastures, and

the fields next 'em, and now I'm looking in the unlikeliest place I

can think of. Maybe it's not pleasing to you it is."



"And to be sure it isn't pleasing to me, you aggravating goose-cap!"



"Please, sir, hand me one pound thirteen and fourpence before you sit

down to your dinner. I'm afraid it's sorrow that's on you for hiring

me at all."



"May the div--oh no; I'm not sorry. Will you begin, if you please, and

put in the thatch again, just as if you were doing it for your

mother's cabin?"



"Oh, faith I will, sir, with a heart and a half"; and by the time the

farmer came out for his dinner, Jack had the roof better than it was

before, for he made the boy give him new straw.



Says the master when he came out, "Go, Jack, and look for the heifers,

and bring them home."



"And where will I look for 'em?"



"Go and search for them as if they were your own." The heifers were

all in the paddock before sunset.



Next morning says the master, "Jack, the path across the bog to the

pasture is very bad; the sheep does be sinking in it every step; go

and make the sheep's feet a good path." About an hour after he came to

the edge of the bog, and what did he find Jack at but sharpening a

carving knife, and the sheep standing or grazing around.



"Is this the way you are mending the path, Jack?" said he.



"Everything must have a beginning master," said Jack, "and a thing

well begun is half done. I am sharpening the knife, and I'll have the

feet off every sheep in the flock while you'd be blessing yourself."



"Feet off my sheep, you anointed rogue! and what would you be taking

their feet off for?"



"An' sure to mend the path as you told me. Says you, 'Jack, make a

path with the foot of the sheep.'"



"Oh, you fool, I meant make good the path for the sheep's feet."



"It's a pity you didn't say so, master. Hand me out, one pound

thirteen and fourpence if you don't like me to finish my job."



"Divil do you good with your one pound thirteen and fourpence!"



"It's better pray than curse, master. Maybe you're sorry for your

bargain?"



"And to be sure I am--not yet, any way."



The next night the master was going to a wedding; and says he to Jack,

before he set out: "I'll leave at midnight, and I wish you to come and

be with me home, for fear I might be overtaken with the drink. If

you're there before, you may throw a sheep's eye at me, and I'll be

sure to see that they'll give you something for yourself."



About eleven o'clock, while the master was in great spirits, he felt

something clammy hit him on the cheek. It fell beside his tumbler,

and when he looked at it what was it but the eye of a sheep. Well, he

couldn't imagine who threw it at him, or why it was thrown at him.

After a little he got a blow on the other cheek, and still it was by

another sheep's eye. Well, he was very vexed, but he thought better to

say nothing. In two minutes more, when he was opening his mouth to

take a sup, another sheep's eye was slapped into it. He sputtered it

out, and cried, "Man o' the house, isn't it a great shame for you to

have any one in the room that would do such a nasty thing?"



"Master," says Jack, "don't blame the honest man. Sure it's only

myself that was throwin' them sheep's eyes at you, to remind you I was

here, and that I wanted to drink the bride and bridegroom's health.

You know yourself bade me."



"I know that you are a great rascal; and where did you get the eyes?"



"An' where would I get em' but in the heads of your own sheep? Would

you have me meddle with the bastes of any neighbour, who might put me

in the Stone Jug for it?"



"Sorrow on me that ever I had the bad luck to meet with you."



"You're all witness," said Jack, "that my master says he is sorry for

having met with me. My time is up. Master, hand me over double wages,

and come into the next room, and lay yourself out like a man that has

some decency in him, till I take a strip of skin an inch broad from

your shoulder to your hip."



Every one shouted out against that; but, says Jack, "You didn't hinder

him when he took the same strips from the backs of my two brothers,

and sent them home in that state, and penniless, to their poor

mother."



When the company heard the rights of the business, they were only too

eager to see the job done. The master bawled and roared, but there was

no help at hand. He was stripped to his hips, and laid on the floor in

the next room, and Jack had the carving knife in his hand ready to

begin.



"Now you cruel old villain," said he, giving the knife a couple of

scrapes along the floor, "I'll make you an offer. Give me, along with

my double wages, two hundred guineas to support my poor brothers, and

I'll do without the strip."



"No!" said he, "I'd let you skin me from head to foot first."



"Here goes then," said Jack with a grin, but the first little scar he

gave, Churl roared out, "Stop your hand; I'll give the money."



"Now, neighbours," said Jack, "you mustn't think worse of me than I

deserve. I wouldn't have the heart to take an eye out of a rat itself;

I got half a dozen of them from the butcher, and only used three of

them."



So all came again into the other room, and Jack was made sit down, and

everybody drank his health, and he drank everybody's health at one

offer. And six stout fellows saw himself and the master home, and

waited in the parlour while he went up and brought down the two

hundred guineas, and double wages for Jack himself. When he got home,

he brought the summer along with him to the poor mother and the

disabled brothers; and he was no more Jack the Fool in the people's

mouths, but "Skin Churl Jack."



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