The Laughing Hippopotamus

: American Fairy Tales

On one of the upper branches of the Congo river lived an ancient and

aristocratic family of hippopotamuses, which boasted a pedigree

dating back beyond the days of Noah--beyond the existence of

mankind--far into the dim ages when the world was new.



They had always lived upon the banks of this same river, so that

every curve and sweep of its waters, every pit and shallow of its

bed, every rock and stump an wallow upon its bank was as familiar

to them as their own mothers. And they are living there yet, I

suppose.



Not long ago the queen of this tribe of hippopotamuses had a child

which she named Keo, because it was so fat and round. Still, that

you may not be misled, I will say that in the hippopotamus language

"Keo," properly translated, means "fat and lazy" instead of fat and

round. However, no one called the queen's attention to this error,

because her tusks were monstrous long and sharp, and she thought Keo

the sweetest baby in the world.



He was, indeed, all right for a hippopotamus. He rolled and played

in the soft mud of the river bank, and waddled inland to nibble the

leaves of the wild cabbage that grew there, and was happy and

contented from morning till night. And he was the jolliest

hippopotamus that ancient family had ever known. His little red eyes

were forever twinkling with fun, and he laughed his merry laugh on

all occasions, whether there was anything to laugh at or not.



Therefore the black people who dwelt in that region called him

"Ippi"--the jolly one, although they dared not come anigh him on

account of his fierce mother, and his equally fierce uncles and

aunts and cousins, who lived in a vast colony upon the river bank.



And while these black people, who lived in little villages scattered

among the trees, dared not openly attack the royal family of

hippopotamuses, they were amazingly fond of eating hippopotamus meat

whenever they could get it. This was no secret to the hippopotamuses.

And, again, when the blacks managed to catch these animals alive,

they had a trick of riding them through the jungles as if they were

horses, thus reducing them to a condition of slavery.



Therefore, having these things in mind, whenever the tribe of

hippopotamuses smelled the oily odor of black people they were

accustomed to charge upon them furiously, and if by chance they

overtook one of the enemy they would rip him with their sharp tusks

or stamp him into the earth with their huge feet.



It was continual warfare between the hippopotamuses and the black

people.



Gouie lived in one of the little villages of the blacks. He was the

son of the chief's brother and grandson of the village sorcerer, the

latter being an aged man known as the "the boneless wonder," because

he could twist himself into as many coils as a serpent and had no

bones to hinder his bending his flesh into any position. This made

him walk in a wabbly fashion, but the black people had great respect

for him.



Gouie's hut was made of branches of trees stuck together with mud,

and his clothing consisted of a grass mat tied around his middle.

But his relationship to the chief and the sorcerer gave him a

certain dignity, and he was much addicted to solitary thought.

Perhaps it was natural that these thoughts frequently turned upon

his enemies, the hippopotamuses, and that he should consider many

ways of capturing them.



Finally he completed his plans, and set about digging a great pit in

the ground, midway between two sharp curves of the river. When the

pit was finished he covered it over with small branches of trees,

and strewed earth upon them, smoothing the surface so artfully that

no one would suspect there was a big hole underneath. Then Gouie

laughed softly to himself and went home to supper.



That evening the queen said to Keo, who was growing to be a fine

child for his age:



"I wish you'd run across the bend and ask your Uncle Nikki to come

here. I have found a strange plant, and want him to tell me if it is

good to eat."



The jolly one laughed heartily as he started upon his errand, for he

felt as important as a boy does when he is sent for the first time

to the corner grocery to buy a yeast cake.



"Guk-uk-uk-uk! guk-uk-uk-uk!" was the way he laughed; and if you

think a hippopotamus does not laugh this way you have but to listen

to one and you will find I am right.



He crawled out of the mud where he was wallowing and tramped away

through the bushes, and the last his mother heard as she lay half in

and half out of the water was his musical "guk-uk-uk-uk!" dying away

in the distance.



Keo was in such a happy mood that he scarcely noticed where he

stepped, so he was much surprised when, in the middle of a laugh,

the ground gave way beneath him, and he fell to the bottom of

Gouie's deep pit. He was not badly hurt, but had bumped his nose

severely as he went down; so he stopped laughing and began to think

how he should get out again. Then he found the walls were higher

than his head, and that he was a prisoner.



So he laughed a little at his own misfortune, and the laughter

soothed him to sleep, so that he snored all through the night until

daylight came.



When Gouie peered over the edge of the pit next morning he

exclaimed:



"Why, 'tis Ippi--the Jolly One!"



Keo recognized the scent of a black man and tried to raise his head

high enough to bite him. Seeing which Gouie spoke in the

hippopotamus language, which he had learned from his grandfather,

the sorcerer.



"Have peace, little one; you are my captive."



"Yes; I will have a piece of your leg, if I can reach it," retorted

Keo; and then he laughed at his own joke: "Guk-uk-uk-uk!"



But Gouie, being a thoughtful black man, went away without further

talk, and did not return until the following morning. When he again

leaned over the pit Keo was so weak from hunger that he could hardly

laugh at all.



"Do you give up?" asked Gouie, "or do you still wish to fight?"



"What will happen if I give up?" inquired Keo.



The black man scratched his woolly head in perplexity.



"It is hard to say, Ippi. You are too young to work, and if I kill

you for food I shall lose your tusks, which are not yet grown. Why,

O Jolly One, did you fall into my hole? I wanted to catch your

mother or one of your uncles."



"Guk-uk-uk-uk!" laughed Keo. "You must let me go, after all, black

man; for I am of no use to you!"



"That I will not do," declared Gouie; "unless," he added, as an

afterthought, "you will make a bargain with me."



"Let me hear about the bargain, black one, for I am hungry," said

Keo.



"I will let your go if you swear by the tusks of your grandfather

that you will return to me in a year and a day and become my

prisoner again."



The youthful hippopotamus paused to think, for he knew it was a

solemn thing to swear by the tusks of his grandfather; but he was

exceedingly hungry, and a year and a day seemed a long time off; so

he said, with another careless laugh:



"Very well; if you will now let me go I swear by the tusks of my

grandfather to return to you in a year and a day and become your

prisoner."



Gouie was much pleased, for he knew that in a year and a day Keo

would be almost full grown. So he began digging away one end of the

pit and filling it up with the earth until he had made an incline

which would allow the hippopotamus to climb out.



Keo was so pleased when he found himself upon the surface of the

earth again that he indulged in a merry fit of laughter, after which

he said:



"Good-by, Gouie; in a year and a day you will see me again."



Then he waddled away toward the river to see his mother and get his

breakfast, and Gouie returned to his village.



During the months that followed, as the black man lay in his hut or

hunted in the forest, he heard at times the faraway "Guk-uk-uk-uk!"

of the laughing hippopotamus. But he only smiled to himself and

thought: "A year and a day will soon pass away!"



Now when Keo returned to his mother safe and well every member of

his tribe was filled with joy, for the Jolly One was a general

favorite. But when he told them that in a year and a day he must

again become the slave of the black man, they began to wail and

weep, and so many were their tears that the river rose several

inches.



Of course Keo only laughed at their sorrow; but a great meeting of

the tribe was called and the matter discussed seriously.



"Having sworn by the tusks of his grandfather," said Uncle Nikki,

"he must keep his promise. But it is our duty to try in some way to

rescue him from death or a life of slavery."



To this all agreed, but no one could think of any method of saving

Keo from his fate. So months passed away, during which all the royal

hippopotamuses were sad and gloomy except the Jolly One himself.



Finally but a week of freedom remained to Keo, and his mother, the

queen, became so nervous and worried that another meeting of the

tribe was called. By this time the laughing hippopotamus had grown

to enormous size, and measured nearly fifteen feet long and six feet

high, while his sharp tusks were whiter and harder than those of an

elephant.



"Unless something is done to save my child," said the mother, "I

shall die of grief."



Then some of her relations began to make foolish suggestions; but

presently Uncle Nep, a wise and very big hippopotamus, said:



"We must go to Glinkomok and implore his aid."



Then all were silent, for it was a bold thing to face the mighty

Glinkomok. But the mother's love was equal to any heroism.



"I will myself go to him, if Uncle Nep will accompany me," she said,

quickly.



Uncle Nep thoughtfully patted the soft mud with his fore foot and

wagged his short tail leisurely from side to side.



"We have always been obedient to Glinkomok, and shown him great

respect," said he. "Therefore I fear no danger in facing him. I will

go with you."



All the others snorted approval, being very glad they were not

called upon to go themselves.



So the queen and Uncle Nep, with Keo swimming between them, set out

upon their journey. They swam up the river all that day and all the

next, until they came at sundown to a high, rocky wall, beneath

which was the cave where the might Glinkomok dwelt.



This fearful creature was part beast, part man, part fowl and part

fish. It had lived since the world began. Through years of wisdom it

had become part sorcerer, part wizard, part magician and part fairy.

Mankind knew it not, but the ancient beasts knew and feared it.



The three hippopotamuses paused before the cave, with their front

feet upon the bank and their bodies in the water, and called in

chorus a greeting to Glinkomok. Instantly thereafter the mouth of

the cave darkened and the creature glided silently toward them.



The hippopotamuses were afraid to look upon it, and bowed their

heads between their legs.



"We come, O Glinkomok, to implore your mercy and friendly

assistance!" began Uncle Nep; and then he told the story of Keo's

capture, and how he had promised to return to the black man.



"He must keep his promise," said the creature, in a voice that

sounded like a sigh.



The mother hippopotamus groaned aloud.



"But I will prepare him to overcome the black man, and to regain his

liberty," continued Glinkomok.



Keo laughed.



"Lift your right paw," commanded Glinkomok. Keo obeyed, and the

creature touched it with its long, hairy tongue. Then it held four

skinny hands over Keo's bowed head and mumbled some words in a

language unknown to man or beast or fowl or fish. After this it

spoke again in hippopotamese:



"Your skin has now become so tough that no man can hurt you. Your

strength is greater than that of ten elephants. Your foot is so

swift that you can distance the wind. Your wit is sharper than the

bulthorn. Let the man fear, but drive fear from your own breast

forever; for of all your race you are the mightiest!"



Then the terrible Glinkomok leaned over, and Keo felt its fiery

breath scorch him as it whispered some further instructions in his

ear. The next moment it glided back into its cave, followed by the

loud thanks of the three hippopotamuses, who slid into the water and

immediately began their journey home.



The mother's heart was full of joy; Uncle Nep shivered once or twice

as he remembered a glimpse he had caught of Glinkomok; but Keo was

as jolly as possible, and, not content to swim with his dignified

elders, he dived under their bodies, raced all around them and

laughed merrily every inch of the way home.



Then all the tribe held high jinks and praised the mighty Glinkomok

for befriending their queen's son. And when the day came for the

Jolly One to give himself up to the black man they all kissed him

good-by without a single fear for his safety.



Keo went away in good spirits, and they could hear his laughing

"guk-uk-uk-uk!" long after he was lost in sight in the jungle.



Gouie had counted the days and knew when to expect Keo; but he was

astonished at the monstrous size to which his captive had grown, and

congratulated himself on the wise bargain he had made. And Keo was

so fat that Gouie determined to eat him--that is, all of him he

possibly could, and the remainder of the carcass he would trade off

to his fellow villagers.



So he took a knife and tried to stick it into the hippopotamus, but

the skin was so tough the knife was blunted against it. Then he

tried other means; but Keo remained unhurt.



And now indeed the Jolly One laughed his most gleeful laugh, till

all the forest echoed the "guk-uk-uk-uk-uk!" And Gouie decided not

to kill him, since that was impossible, but to use him for a beast

of burden. He mounted upon Keo's back and commanded him to march. So

Keo trotted briskly through the village, his little eyes twinkling

with merriment.



The other blacks were delighted with Gouie's captive, and begged

permission to ride upon the Jolly One's back. So Gouie bargained

with them for bracelets and shell necklaces and little gold

ornaments, until he had acquired quite a heap of trinkets. Then a

dozen black men climbed upon Keo's back to enjoy a ride, and the one

nearest his nose cried out:



"Run, Mud-dog--run!"



And Keo ran. Swift as the wind he strode, away from the village,

through the forest and straight up the river bank. The black men

howled with fear; the Jolly One roared with laughter; and on, on, on

they rushed!



Then before them, on the opposite side of the river, appeared the

black mouth of Glinkomok's cave. Keo dashed into the water, dived to

the bottom and left the black people struggling to swim out. But

Glinkomok had heard the laughter of Keo and knew what to do. When

the Jolly One rose to the surface and blew the water from his throat

there was no black man to be seen.



Keo returned alone to the village, and Gouie asked, with surprise:



"Where are my brothers:"



"I do not know," answered Keo. "I took them far away, and they

remained where I left them."



Gouie would have asked more questions then, but another crowd of

black men impatiently waited to ride on the back of the laughing

hippopotamus. So they paid the price and climbed to their seats,

after which the foremost said:



"Run, mud-wallower--run!"



And Keo ran as before and carried them to the mouth of Glinkomok's

cave, and returned alone.



But now Gouie became anxious to know the fate of his fellows, for he

was the only black man left in his village. So he mounted the

hippopotamus and cried:



"Run, river-hog--run!"



Keo laughed his jolly "guk-uk-uk-uk!" and ran with the speed of the

wind. But this time he made straight for the river bank where his

own tribe lived, and when he reached it he waded into the river,

dived to the bottom and left Gouie floating in the middle of the

stream.



The black man began swimming toward the right bank, but there he saw

Uncle Nep and half the royal tribe waiting to stamp him into the

soft mud. So he turned toward the left bank, and there stood the

queen mother and Uncle Nikki, red-eyed and angry, waiting to tear

him with their tusks.



Then Gouie uttered loud screams of terror, and, spying the Jolly

One, who swam near him, he cried:



"Save me, Keo! Save me, and I will release you from slavery!"



"That is not enough," laughed Keo.



"I will serve you all my life!" screamed Gouie; "I will do

everything you bid me!"



"Will you return to me in a year and a day and become my captive, if

I allow you to escape?" asked Keo.



"I will! I will! I will!" cried Gouie.



"Swear it by the bones of your grandfather!" commanded Keo,

remembering that black men have no tusks to swear by.



And Gouie swore it by the bones of his grandfather.



Then Keo swam to the black one, who clambered upon his back again.

In this fashion they came to the bank, where Keo told his mother and

all the tribe of the bargain he had made with Gouie, who was to

return in a year and a day and become his slave.



Therefore the black man was permitted to depart in peace, and once

more the Jolly One lived with his own people and was happy.



When a year and a day had passed Keo began watching for the return

of Gouie; but he did not come, then or ever afterwards.



For the black man had made a bundle of his bracelets and shell

necklaces and little gold ornaments and had traveled many miles into

another country, where the ancient and royal tribe of hippopotamuses

was unknown. And he set up for a great chief, because of his riches,

and people bowed down before him.



By day he was proud and swaggering. But at night he tumbled and

tossed upon his bed and could not sleep. His conscience troubled

him.



For he had sworn by the bones of his grandfather; and his

grandfather had no bones.