All Change

: Europa's Fairy Book

There was once a man who was the laziest man in all the world. He

wouldn't take off his clothes when he went to bed because he didn't

want to have to put them on again. He wouldn't raise his cup to his

lips but went down and sucked up his tea without carrying the cup. He

wouldn't play any sports because he said they made him sweat. And he

wouldn't work with his hands for the same reason. But at last he found

that he co ldn't get anything to eat unless he did some work for it.

So he hired himself out to a farmer for the season. But all through

the harvest he ate as much and he worked as little as he could; and

when the fall came and he went to get his wages from his master all he

got was a single pea. "What do you mean by giving me this?" he said to

his master. "Why, that is all that your labor is worth," was the

reply. "You have eaten as much as you have earned." "None of your

lip," said the man; "give me my pea; at any rate I have earned that."

So when he got it he went to an inn by the roadside and said to the

landlady, "Can you give me lodging for the night, me and my pea?"

"Well, no," said the landlady, "I haven't got a bed free, but I can

take care of your pea for you." No sooner said than done. The pea was

lodged with the landlady, and the laziest man went and lay in a barn

near-by.



The landlady put the pea upon a dresser and left it there, and a

chicken wandering by saw it and jumped up on the dresser and ate it.

So when the laziest man called the next day and asked for his pea the

landlady couldn't find it. She said, "The chicken must have swallowed

it." "Well, I want my pea," said the man. "You had better give me the

chicken." "Why, what--when--how?" stammered the landlady. "The chicken

is worth thousands of your pea." "I don't care for that; it has got my

pea inside it, and the only way I can get my pea is to have that which

holds the pea." "What, give you my chicken for a single pea,

nonsense!" "Well, if you don't I'll summon you before the justice."

"Ah, well, take the chicken and my bad wishes with it."



So off went the man and sauntered along all day, till that night he

came to another inn, and asked the landlord if he and his chicken

could stop there. He said, "No, no, we have no room for you, but we

can put your chicken in the stable if you like." So the man said,

"Yes," and went off for the night. But there was a savage sow in the

stable, and during the night she ate up the poor chicken. And when the

man came the next morning he said to the landlord, "Please give me my

chicken." "I am awfully sorry, sir," said he, "but my sow has eaten it

up." The laziest man said, "Then give me your sow." "What, a sow for

your chicken, nonsense; go away, my man." "Then if you don't do that

I'll have you before the justice." "Ah, well, take the sow and my

curses with it," said the landlord.



And the man took the sow and followed it along the road till he came

to another inn, and said to the landlady, "Have you room for me and my

sow?" "I have not," said the landlady, "but I can put your sow up." So

the sow was put in the stable, and the man went off to lie in the barn

for the night. Now the sow went roaming about the stable, and coming

too near the hoofs of the mare, was hit in the forehead and killed by

the mare's hoofs. So when the man came in the morning and asked for

his sow the landlady said, "I'm very sorry, sir, but an accident has

occurred; my mare has hit your sow in the skull and she is dead."

"What, the mare?" "No, your sow." "Then give me the mare." "What, my

mare for your sow, nonsense." "Well, if you don't I'll take you before

the justice; you'll see if it's nonsense." So after some time the

landlady agreed to give the man her mare in exchange for the dead sow.



Then the man followed on in the steps of the mare till he came to

another inn, and asked the landlord if he could put him up for the

night, him and his mare. The landlord said, "All our beds are full,

but you can put the mare up in the stable if you will." "Very well,"

said the man, and tied the halter of the mare into the ring of the

stable. Next morning early the landlord's daughter said to her father,

"That poor mare has had nothing to drink; I'll go and lead it to the

river." "That is none of your business," said the landlord; "let the

man do it himself." "Ah, but the poor thing has had nothing to drink.

I'll bring it back soon." So the girl took the mare to the river brink

and let it drink the water; but, by chance, the mare slipped into the

stream, which was so strong that it carried the mare away. And the

young girl ran back to her mother and said, "Oh mother, the mare fell

into the stream and it was carried quite away. What shall we do? What

shall we do?"



When the man came round that morning he said, "Please give me my

mare." "I'm very sorry indeed, sir, but my daughter--that one

there--wanted to give the poor thing a drink and took it down to the

river and it fell in and was carried away by the stream; I'm very

sorry indeed." "Your sorrow won't pay my loss," said the man; "the

least you can do is to give me your daughter." "What, my daughter to

you because of the mare!" "Well, if you don't I will take you before

the justice." Now the landlord didn't like going before the justice.



So after much haggling he agreed to let his daughter go with the man.

And they went along, and they went along, and they went along, till at

last they came to another inn which was kept by the girl's aunt,

though the man didn't know it. So he went in and said, "Can you give

me beds for me and my girl here?" So the landlady looked at the girl

who said nothing, and said, "Well, I haven't got a bed for you but I

have got a bed for her; but perhaps she'll run away." "Oh, I will

manage that," said the man. And he went and got a sack and put the

girl in it and tied her up; and then he went off. As soon as he was

gone the girl's aunt opened the bag and said, "What has happened, my

dear?" And she told the whole story. So the aunt took a big dog and

put it in the sack; and when the man came the next morning he said,

"Where's my girl?" "There she is, so far as I know." So he took the

sack and put it on his shoulder and went on his way for a time. Then

as the sun grew high he sat down under the shade of a tree and thought

he would speak to the girl. And when he opened the sack the big dog

flew out at him, and he fell back, and that's the last I heard of

him.