THE SPOTTED HEIFERS





Mr Jeremiah Jeffers

Owned a pair of spotted heifers

These he sold for two pounds ten

To Mr Robert Raymond Wren



Who reared them in the lucerne paddocks

Owned by Mr Martin Maddox,

And sold them, when they grew to cows,

To Mr Donald David Dowse.



A grazier, Mr Egbert Innes,

Bought them then for twenty guineas,

Milked the cows, and sold the milk

To Mr Stephen Evan Silk.



Who rents a butter factory

From Mr Laurence Lampard-Lee.

Here, once a week, come for his butter

The grocer, Mr Roland Rutter,



Who keeps a shop in Sunny Street

Next door to Mr Peter Peat.

He every afternoon at two

Sent his fair daughter, Lucy Loo,



To Mr Rutter's shop to buy

Such things as were not priced too high,

Especially a shilling tin

Of "Fuller's Food for Folk Too Thin."



This food was bought for Lucy Loo--

A girl of charming manners, who

Was much too pale and much too slight

To be a very pleasant sight.



When Lucy Loo beheld the butter

Stocked by Mr Roland Rutter,

She said, "I'll have a pound of that."

She had it, and thenceforth grew fat.



We now go back to Mr Jeffers,

Who sold the pair of spotted heifers.

He had a son, James Edgar John,

A handsome lad to gaze upon,



Who had now reached that time of life

When young men feel they need a wife;

But no young girl about the place

Exactly had the kind of face



That seemed to suit James Edgar John--

A saddening thing to think upon,

For he grew sad and sick of life

Because he could not find a wife.



One day young James was passing by

(A look of sorrow in his eye)

The shop of Mr Roland Rutter,

When Lucy Loo came out with butter.



At once James Edgar John said, "That

Is just the girl for me! She's fat."

He offered her his heart and hand

And prospects of his father's land.



The Reverend Saul Sylvester Slight

Performed the simple marriage rite.

The happy couple went their way,

And lived and loved unto this day.



Events cannot be far foreseen;

And all ths joy might not have been

If Mr Jeremiah Jeffers

Had kept his pair of spotted heifers.





THE SONG OF THE SULKY STOCKMAN THE STAR facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

Feedback