A football coach walked into the locker room before a big game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we really need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, an... Read more of Football player test at Free Jokes.caInformational Site Network Informational
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THE CAT AND THE PARROT

from Children Stories To Tell - For Classes Ii. And Iii.





Once there was a cat, and a parrot. And they had agreed to ask each other
to dinner, turn and turn about: first the cat should ask the parrot, then
the parrot should invite the cat, and so on. It was the cat's turn first.

Now the cat was very mean. He provided nothing at all for dinner except a
pint of milk, a little slice of fish, and a biscuit. The parrot was too
polite to complain, but he did not have a very good time.

When it was his turn to invite the cat, he cooked a fine dinner. He had a
roast of meat, a pot of tea, a basket of fruit, and, best of all, he baked
a whole clothes-basketful of little cakes!--little, brown, crispy, spicy
cakes! Oh, I should say as many as five hundred. And he put four hundred
and ninety-eight of the cakes before the cat, keeping only two for
himself.

Well, the cat ate the roast, and drank the tea, and sucked the fruit, and
then he began on the pile of cakes. He ate all the four hundred and
ninety-eight cakes, and then he looked round and said:--

"I'm hungry; haven't you anything to eat?"

"Why," said the parrot, "here are my two cakes, if you want them?"

The cat ate up the two cakes, and then he licked his chops and said, "I am
beginning to get an appetite; have you anything to eat?"

"Well, really," said the parrot, who was now rather angry, "I don't see
anything more, unless you wish to eat me!" He thought the cat would be
ashamed when he heard that--but the cat just looked at him and licked his
chops again,--and slip! slop! gobble! down his throat went the parrot!

Then the cat started down the street. An old woman was standing by, and
she had seen the whole thing, and she was shocked that the cat should eat
his friend. "Why, cat!" she said, "how dreadful of you to eat your friend
the parrot!"

"Parrot, indeed!" said the cat. "What's a parrot to me?--I've a great mind
to eat you, too." And--before you could say "Jack Robinson"--slip! slop!
gobble! down went the old woman!

Then the cat started down the road again, walking like this, because he
felt so fine. Pretty soon he met a man driving a donkey. The man was
beating the donkey, to hurry him up, and when he saw the cat he said, "Get
out of my way, cat; I'm in a hurry and my donkey might tread on you."

"Donkey, indeed!" said the cat, "much I care for a donkey! I have eaten
five hundred cakes, I've eaten my friend the parrot, I've eaten an old
woman,--what's to hinder my eating a miserable man and a donkey?"

And slip! slop! gobble! down went the old man and the donkey.

Then the cat walked on down the road, jauntily, like this. After a little,
he met a procession, coming that way. The king was at the head, walking
proudly with his newly married bride, and behind him were his soldiers,
marching, and behind them were ever and ever so many elephants, walking
two by two. The king felt very kind to everybody, because he had just been
married, and he said to the cat, "Get out of my way, pussy, get out of my
way,--my elephants might hurt you."

"Hurt me!" said the cat, shaking his fat sides. "Ho, ho! I've eaten five
hundred cakes, I've eaten my friend the parrot, I've eaten an old woman,
I've eaten a man and a donkey; what's to hinder my eating a beggarly
king?"

And slip! slop! gobble! down went the king; down went the queen; down went
the soldiers,--and down went all the elephants!

Then the cat went on, more slowly; he had really had enough to eat, now.
But a little farther on he met two land-crabs, scuttling along in the
dust. "Get out of our way, pussy," they squeaked.

"Ho, ho ho!" cried the cat in a terrible voice. "I've eaten five hundred
cakes, I've eaten my friend the parrot, I've eaten an old woman, a man
with a donkey, a king, a queen, his men-at-arms, and all his elephants;
and now I'll eat you too."

And slip! slop! gobble! down went the two land-crabs.

When the land-crabs got down inside, they began to look around. It was
very dark, but they could see the poor king sitting in a corner with his
bride on his arm; she had fainted. Near them were the men-at-arms,
treading on one another's toes, and the elephants, still trying to form in
twos,--but they couldn't, because there was not room. In the opposite
corner sat the old woman, and near her stood the man and his donkey. But
in the other corner was a great pile of cakes, and by them perched the
parrot, his feathers all drooping.

"Let's get to work!" said the land-crabs. And, snip, snap, they began to
make a little hole in the side, with their sharp claws. Snip, snap, snip,
snap,--till it was big enough to get through. Then out they scuttled.

Then out walked the king, carrying his bride; out marched the men-at-arms;
out tramped the elephants, two by two; out came the old man, beating his
donkey; out walked the old woman, scolding the cat; and last of all, out
hopped the parrot, holding a cake in each claw. (You remember, two cakes
were all he wanted?)

But the poor cat had to spend the whole day sewing up the hole in his
coat!





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